humor

Over the past couple years I've been collecting fake Olympic merchandise. The only authentic Beijing Olympic merchandise I own is a pen that was given as a gift. I've also purchased a few genuine articles for others.

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• Waiguoren Critic of South China
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Or maybe it's just another ploy to avoid talking to some people.

My wife had a custom shirt made for me as a one-year anniversary gift. The idea of this evolved out of many conversations with J. Some of my co-workers thought it was funny and suggested that I have more made so I can wear it every day. Who knows, maybe it'll be profitable.

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• Waiguoren Critic of South China
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I was surprised that this movie actually existed. I'm a big fan of The Onion and couldn't resist watching the movie. I did have my doubts going in--I kept thinking about Mad TV and how bad that turned out. Could a sketch-comedy movie based on a fake newspaper be worthwhile? I was prepared for disappointment.

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• Waiguoren Critic of South China
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It's probably better that George Carlin isn't around to hear the news. It seems that the Olympics doesn't need to worry so much about steroids anymore--there's a new human growth hormone (excuse the pun) to improve performance--Viagra. That's right, the blue pill does more than help men have sex.

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• Waiguoren Critic of South China
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I got used to being told I look like people, but it wasn't until I moved to China that I was told I resembled anyone famous. Is it considered a compliment when they choose to say I look like Vladamir Lenin or Karl Marx? I've encountered this a few times now.

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• Waiguoren Critic of South China
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You better watch where you squat when you visit Beijing for the Olympics. According to "Tiger Temple" blogger (in Chinese, translated on Global Voices), there was a fire in a portable toilet near the Bird's Nest in Beijing.

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• Waiguoren Critic of South China
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