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how can i become lively and active...

I am a very quiet girl. I like to talk with others, but when I sit there, I listen other people talking everything, but it seems I don't know how to join their topics. When people see me, the first impression about me is I am too quiet, don't like to talk.

I like to do sales work, and I like to communicate with the others, but what I show people is that I am not suitale for sales work and for work that requires good communication... People even say they think I am lack of confidence, and my behavior shows that I maynot be able to do the job well...

Actually I am confident, and I am sure I can do the job well, but it seems they doubt about this.... I know I am too quiet, and lack of communication with others, but I don't have much chance to do this in the past 2 years after graduation. I hope I can change. Do you have any suggestion? Please tell me.

If I talk more, will people change the idea at the first time when they see me? And you know, when I am taking the picture of myself, I feel very uncomfortable, and always cannot have a good image....

Thank you so much.

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Haha! I couldn't agree more

Haha! I couldn't agree more to you, Shengo!
That's what I was thinking before I posted my first comment!

..that good ol' Dale Carnegie book,..That's classic, man!

Kudos to you! :)

Stop thinking so much about

Stop thinking so much about you......
Everyone in the room is not watching or evaluating you. Stop thinking about how you appear to the group, and start thinking about making the other people happy. Genuine interest in other people is a sure way to gain acceptance and friendship.
Do not focus on you, focus on them. Make them the cetner of the conversation, flatter them.

For example, if you are in a group, and one of the people is a computer person, do not worry about what you are going to say, make the other person the focus. Show them true interest in their ideas, and they will like you. You could say to the computer person..John, I have been thinking of buying computer stock, I know you have so much experience in this field, what would you suggest.

See..You have made John the focus, you have praised him, and asked him to speak, guess what...John will feel you are a pretty cool girl!

You might consider searching for "how to win freinds and influence people" on the internet. This is the title of a very famous book about this subject. It would interest you I think.

Here is it's summary on how to make people like you:

Six ways to make people like you
Become genuinely interested in other people.


Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Talk in terms of the other person's interests.

Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Well, I hope this gives you some ideas..Remember you are not the focus, focus on the others, and all will see you as a leader.

i am agree with u,i had

i am agree with u,i had same problem 6 years ago,i am not so confident,i dont like sales work, bec i dont how to have nice conversations,how to sale the product.but through the forums,i meet many friends, and always talk online,some times go out for dinner,go to bar i am confident,if i like,i can have nice conversations with anybody

Everyone is not necessarily

Everyone is not necessarily the same or have the skills for a particular occupation. It is best to be critical of your own skill set and then determine what is the best career path for yourself.

As for communication, being a good listener is almost as important as a good speaker. Try to express your ideas and communicate it to others. Try, try, and try. Good luck!

Best Regards,

John CM Lee

You can start by having

You can start by having conversations in chatrooms or in forums like this. Its easier to express oneself here because nobody knows you or sees you, right?
This is a good start to develop your confidence.

I hope you can post some other interesting topics to talk about here!

*wink* *wink*

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